5.  Different Patterns of Understanding Academic Identity

Due to the differences in the acquisition of academic meaning and academic efficacy during the process of doctoral programs, as shown in Table 3 and Figure 1, different doctoral students exhibit different characteristics in the patterns of understanding the academic identity, including Adeptness, Academic Pursuit, Alienation and Powerlessness, and Struggling for Meaning.

5.1 Adeptness

Doctoral students in the "Adeptness" category can obtain a strong sense of academic meaning and efficacy from their academic experiences. These students hold a strong conviction that pursuing an academic career is a worthwhile endeavor, and they have confidence in their ability to conduct and complete scholarly research. Generally, they tend to position themselves within or in close proximity to the academic community. They also perceive their academic self to be well-placed within this sphere, and they express competence when navigating the relationship between academia and their personal selves.

"I have a passion for philosophy because I find it is interesting. Making break-throughs in research means a great personal achievement for me. Moreover, I see myself as a worker in this era, comparable to my peers. I feel proud to be an outstanding contributor. Personally, I prefer to call myself a researcher". (HU-11, Philosophy, male)

"I have always been particularly interested in computers, and pursued my PhD to be able to do creative work in the future. Though it requires a lot of effort to do the researches, in the end, I manage to solve important issues. I believe that the research issues must be significant; otherwise, they are meaningless. Moreover, not only academia, but also the companies can utilize my research findings. I also have confidence in my abilities and have good publications. I have considered myself as a researcher from a very early stage". (EN-20, Computer Science, male)

5.2 Academic Pursuit

Doctoral students in the "Academic Pursuit" category obtain a relatively strong sense of meaning from their academic work, but their sense of efficacy is low. They believe that academic research is valuable and meaningful, but they lack confidence in their own ability to successfully achieve research results. These students position themselves on the periphery of the academic community and view the completion of academic tasks as a distant goal.

"Even if the research project is obscure or very fundamental, and it may not have direct or immediate practical applications. I still firmly believe it provides answers to the unknown. However, I feel that my research abilities are still insufficient, and I may need to read more articles published by others and conduct more experiments by myself. In my opinion, I am still a student". (NS-6, Biology, female)

"I believe that academia is very meaningful, and the research in our field is extremely significant to both the nation and society. It can directly benefit mankind. However, I feel that I'm not particularly suited for academia. Scientific research requires a huge amount of physical and mental effort, which I find exhausting. Experiments can't be interrupted, lasting at least 14 hours each time, and I am really worn out. Furthermore, I have bad luck. My hard-won paper was scooped by others, and I feel that I am still far from being a researcher". (EN-9, Engineering, female)

5.3 Alienation and Powerlessness

Doctoral students in the "Alienation and Powerlessness" category often have low levels of both sense of meaning and efficacy in academia. They struggle to recognize the value of academic research and suffer from a lack of confidence in their own academic abilities. They position themselves on the fringes of the academic community, lacking a sense of control over their academic work. This contributes to a sense of alienation and incompetence in regard to understanding their academic identity.

"There are too many ineffective, useless, and tedious affairs in our current scientific research. I used to think that engaging in academia was a very pure and sacred experience, where one could express his or her true ideas. Reality, however, has proven otherwise. In my long doctoral journey, I have realized that my mastery of knowledge may be inferior to my classmates and peers. You can work hard, spare no efforts to write articles every day, but can you produce good results? Maybe you can't. I have always considered myself as a student, still learning how to be a researcher". (SS-19, Politics, male)

"The reason I am pursuing a doctorate is simply to earn a higher salary after graduation. The value of research hardly matters to me, and I seldom appreciate the sense of meaning it brings. Therefore, I don't feel I need to become one of the members of the academic community. However, in order to graduate, I need to have publications. My supervisor seldom guides me and my ability of innovation is limited, which makes doing research extremely difficult for me. It is very likely that I will postpone my doctorate. I feel like I can’t control the future, let alone be a researcher". (EN-12, Computer Science, Male)

5.4 Struggling for Meaning

Doctoral students in the "Struggling for Meaning" category have a weak sense of meaning obtained from academia but a high sense of efficacy. Despite their firm belief in their competence, they harbor doubts about whether academic research provides sufficient spiritual value. As a result, they experience conflicts and internal struggles when participating in academic activities. These doctoral students typically identify themselves as "non-researchers" or "researchers questioning the meaning of academia". They believe in their competent academic abilities and academic publications, while they derive less satisfaction from their research, leading to conflicts stemming from this perceived lack of meaning and value.

The participants' questioning of academic meaning is manifested through their doubts about the practical impact of research and the fairness of academic rules. When they cannot reconcile their research with their personal standard of meaningful work, they experience cognitive and behavioral dissonance, resulting in a struggle for meaning.

"About one-third of my work is just for publication, just to find a good position in academia. Much of this work is merely repetitive labor. I know that a part of my work is useless. We make attempts to solve very practical problems, yet its impact on reality seems negligible. I don’t experience excessive pressure in scientific research due to my research capability. If I fully devote myself to my research, I can produce a high-quality article within a month. I view myself as a researcher, yet the feedback received from my research endeavors often leaves me unsatisfied. The articles I publish are mostly due to employment pressures, which tends to render the process somewhat meaningless to me". (EN-15, Engineering, male)

"I feel that I have mastered research skills and have published an amount of academic achievements during my doctoral studies. While I perceive myself as a researcher, I am suffering from doubts. Research in our field should serve to address real-world challenges in businesses, but the academic community seems unable to respond to these requirements and ignores the criticisms from the business sector. The current academic evaluation system has resulted in a frenzy of publication for publication's sake, creating a frivolous academic atmosphere that I find meaningless. Hence, I choose to resist the prevailing academic rules by temporarily withdrawing myself from academia". (SS-13, Management, male)

In conclusion, doctoral students in China display significant differences in their process of understanding academic identity. This is due to the varying degrees of perceived meaning and efficacy they derive from academic situations and interactions. Consequently, this variation leads to different ways in which students position themselves.

6.  Discussion

6.1 Academic Meaning: Internal Driving Force to Develop Academic Identity

The sense of academic meaning is related to the spiritual satisfaction experienced by doctoral students in their academic activities. From a psychological perspective, individuals are motivated not only by material rewards but also by the pursuit of meaning and spiritual value from their career. They desire to be able to express their true and complete selves at work and connect work and life with spiritual experiences [43]. Zhao and Guo pointed out that many young people hold the belief of "being anything they want to be" and have strong expectations for the meaningfulness of their career development [44]. Wellman and Spreitzer suggested that many organizational scholars were interested in making their careers more personally meaningful, while in academic careers, doctoral students and junior scholars may feel less autonomy to job craft, thereby creating negative impacts on the increasing meaning of work [45]. For doctoral students, the obtainment of academic meaning implies difficulties and challenges. Socialization is the process through which the doctoral students acquire the knowledge and skills, the values and attitudes, and the habits and modes of thought of the society to which they belong [10]. Therefore, the meaning they pursue must be generated during socialization. The experiences of doctoral students interacting with the discipline and institution significantly influence their evaluation of academic value.

Constructing scientific knowledge and deriving meaning from the experience of attending a doctoral degree are fundamental aspects making doctoral education unique [46]. The discipline, centered within academia [47], serves as an important context for the construction of doctoral students' academic identity. Academia is the soul of the discipline, and the process of knowledge exploration can generate a sense of value and dignity. Just as Weber regarded "inward calling for science", "enter into the idea that the destiny of his soul depends on his being right about this particular conjectural emendation at this point in this manuscript", "Without this strange intoxication (which appears faintly ridiculous to outsiders), without this passion, and without this feeling that 'thousands of years had to elapse before you entered life, and more thousands of years are silently waiting' to see whether or not your conjecture will be confirmed, one has no vocation for science and should do something different" [48]. As a researcher in reality, doctoral students' perception of the "inward calling" in academic community allows them to gain a sense of meaning and promotes the formation of their academic identity. Higher education institutions also provide doctoral students with the drive to undertake knowledge production and interact with supervisors, peers, and important others who motivate doctoral students to perceive meaning in academic research. In addition, financial support from institutions significantly contributes to the success of doctoral students [49]. In terms of doctoral student socialization, meaning making related to money, which shapes doctoral students' identities as students and future professionals, may play a significant role in shaping whether doctoral students adopt the financial and monetary values, norms, and behaviors of their fields of study, departments, advisors, peers, and research laboratories [50].

In summary, the sense of academic meaning serves as the driving force for doctoral students, enabling them to perceive the value within their academic environment and facilitating the integration of their academic identity into their self-image. Conversely, a lack of academic meaning can result in insufficient motivation for doctoral students to construct their academic identity and engage in professional socialization processes.